BDSM and kink
It's common to hear wise people claim that the older they get the less they know about the world.
While I've never felt I know all that much about BDSM and kink generally, I assumed I knew what sort of things most people might want out of kink and BDSM experiences, and thus I marketed myself as a kinky partner. I've been absolutely devastated by how little I know...(continued)
BDSM and kink
...I probably should spend a lot more time on FetLife to see more of what masochists are looking for, as there are kinks far beyond the mainstream BDSM tropes of mere physical pain, bondage, and humiliation that seem to dominate the popular consciousness.
I wasn't prepared for deep psychological, almost criminal levels of depravity that some masochists seek. And unfortunately, this part of my sadistic experience wasn't sufficient to satisfy the folks I loved the most... (continued)
BDSM and kink
...but as I fall down this rabbit hole of sadomasochism, I find the faults and fractures within myself fuel a desire to expand to fill those spaces of sadism, and they hold an allure that I'm shocked to find and titillated by.
Those that know me, even casually, see an uplifting light, and this is real. What I'm coming to terms with is that wielding sadism with love, skill, and empathy is also an act of care and a gift for others...(continued)
BDSM and kink
...we are embodied in flesh and constrained by unnatural systems of being in societies, power dynamics, sentenced to gender and class roles, saddled with our own emotions and understandings that are often at odds with our lived experiences or circumstances. Masochism can be a response to those discontinuities and expectations. To be hurt is an experience, and to be lovingly denied agency by a partner, always, always with consent can be a gift of peace and excitment...(continued)
BDSM and kink
... my understanding some of this, as I am not so experienced in sadism (it comes naturally but not easily,) does not prepare me for how hungry the one I loved was for a deep, all encompassing sadomasochism.
All my learned and natural tendencies toward her were noble and good and abundant, but left her needs unmet, and in the end that contributed to a fracture between us that I regret... (continued)
BDSM and kink
... not because I think I have enough experience to satisfy them all, but because I understood them so poorly at the time that I didn't even know to try, to grow, or to see how far my innate sadism could go.
This lesson comes at an unbearable cost, and I tire of only learning hard lessons through experience. My advice to you, should you be following the sadist's path, is not only to act as is your innate nature, but to explore beyond it with curiosity and clear eyes. <end>
