In better news, there was a cat named Patches that everyone thought was lost in a mudslide, but actually made it out fine and came back 3 years later
Looks like someone's been feeding her all this time. Or she was somehow able to take care of herself because cat
My pull request that backported unified Xen executables was merged into Qubes for the upcoming 4.1 release. This will make it possible to enable UEFI SecureBoot on a stock Qubes install (with a bit of additional glue that is yet to be written) https://github.com/QubesOS/qubes-vmm-xen/pull/89